Saturday, July 21, 2012

Explanation

I find THIS


Absolutely hilarious. If Scout could talk I'm pretty sure her explanation would be something like below:

"Mom! You know how there are monsters living in closets? Well, the pantry is basically a closet, it's a kitchen closet, and there is a monster living in ours! A really, really big monster, taller than dad, and he has yellow eyes and furry teeth! I was just sitting on my pillow, looking out the window, and minding my own business when I heard a noise. I followed the sound and found the pantry door was closed, but hadn't been pushed in far enough for the latch to catch. I scratched and scratched and scratched at the side of the door until finally it slowly creeped open. Behind the door, there was the monster! Did I mention he was kinda wet and slimy? Like a slug. So I grabbed the thing closest to me, I darted between his legs and dragged out that ginormo bag of pancake mix, (you know the one from Costco that's too tall to fit on the shelf, so you set it on the ground instead?) I ripped open the bag and tipped it over. When the dry absorbent powder touched the feet of my attacker, it actually started to dissolve his moist flesh. I quickly coated myself in a protective layer and charged! It was touch-and-go for awhile, while the dry powder would dissolve him, when his sticky flesh came into contact with my dry coating it began to create a plaster, filling my nostrils, mouth, and sealing much of my fur together in what seemed a permanent bond. I prevailed in the end, the slug-like, furry-toothed monster collapsed, and then I um, ate him (that's why there wasn't a body, duh). Oh, and Tobey helped too."

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